The Pain of Loving a Clan
by Shin Sankai
Summary: Its been two years - Aoshi has returned but nothing has changed. Misao has matured and Okina has an unexpected surprise for her. Two different endings.
1. Default Chapter

Authors Notes: This is probably my very first angst ending story for my favourite coupling of Rurouni Kenshin. I'm actually shocked at myself for ending it depressingly, but for once I thought I'd write in Misao's POV. Also a word of warning is that Misao may seem OOC, but only because I've made her grow up and act maturer. So although it doesn't end on a high note, I still enjoyed trying to imagine some of Misao's feelings for her "untouchable" Aoshi-sama. So enjoy…and if its too sad…well…gomen, I'll get to writing a happy Aoshi and Misao story another time. Like say…a lemon perhaps?

****

#

****

The Pain of Loving a Clan

#

I can never count the amount of times I watch him a day. The way he silently walks around looking all gloomy and yet so defiant amongst everyone else. The way his arms fold into the sleeves of his robe as he strolls slowly towards the temple. The way the wind catches his silky long bangs and brushes them agonisingly away from his piercing green eyes. I'd been a prisoner in those eyes for as long as I can remember. It felt like a lifetime as I continued to drown in the ice coldness of that stare he possessed. I wanted so badly to melt that ice, but when I think about what Aoshi-sama would be like without that iciness it just seemed…out of character for him. I loved him the way he was…and desperately hoped he'd return my feelings but as usual, day by day he continues his journey to the temple, silent and brooding about the past and I continue to watch him from above my window before proceeding downstairs.

"Misao-chan?"

"Eh?" I am snapped from my thoughts of Aoshi-sama and come face to face with Omasu, one of the waitresses in the Aoiya and of course one of the ninja's in the elite Spy Organisation known as the Oniwabanshuu.

"Okina wishes to speak with you." I nod my head, leaving the damp cloth I had been using to wipe down tables before we entered and headed for Okina's study. Knocking lightly on the door, I heard a muffled 'enter' and then proceeded inside. There my Jiya was sitting at his desk, window open letting in the early morning light and then he waved me to sit down.

"We need to have a chat Misao-chan." The serious tone in his voice made the butterflies lying dormant in my stomach come alive. I remained silent, my blue eyes blinking over at him as he shuffled some paperwork and then placed it to the side.

"You aren't getting younger Misao…and I believe its time for you to wed." Instantly at those words my mouth had gone dry and my heart and fallen to my now churning stomach. I was definitely not expecting this…and I knew Jiya was not expecting my silence either. Perhaps over time I had become more mature as I knew two years ago I would have wailed and complained and stomped around until I got my way, but now…now I was too stunned to even rebuttal his spoken thoughts.

"Now before you object about what I have spoken, please listen to me." I felt my lips close as I had opened them to obviously refuse, but nothing had come forth from my lips and instead I probably looked like a gapping fish.

"You're a young woman now Misao and its time for you to settle down and begin a new life. Of course the Oniwabanshuu will always be here in this new era, but the blood of the Oniwabanshuu needs to blossom into new life. You are the grand daughter of the late Okashira and you must reproduce to continue the bloodline." I could feel my cheeks heat up at what Jiya spoke. Just listening to him talk about sexual interactions made me want to laugh, but it also made me blush even more as he knew I'd never experienced any form of relationship because of my infatuation with Aoshi-sama. I had always dreamed he'd be my first in everything.

"Though you took on the role as Okashira after Aoshi switched sides and became evil this does not technically give you the right to be the Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu. You have the heart and the skills to become a great leader Misao, but…"

"A woman is not meant for that particular job correct?" I couldn't believe how unemotional I was being. Though it reminded me very much of Aoshi-sama I had to congratulate myself for how much I was keeping hidden even if Jiya's words were cutting deeply into my heart.

"Hai Misao-chan, that is why I suggest you honour your grandfather's wish to make sure the Oniwabanshuu name never dies."

"Okay…" I watched as Jiya nearly fell out of his chair.

"O-Okay?" He stuttered as he questioned me. Wow I really was entirely calm about this idea. Had I truly lost my entire love for Aoshi-sama not to wait for him?

I place on a smile for Jiya, watching as he blinked scrutinisingly at it to try and tell if it was real or fake, but for once I felt happy. I would be honouring my grandfather. I truly did want to keep the Oniwabanshuu name alive and if that meant marrying and passing the Okashira title to my would be husband then so be it. I'd sacrifice my love of Aoshi-sama to make sure the Oniwabanshuu name was never forgotten.

"I really should go Jiya, I have errands to run." He nodded still very much in surprise at my answer and I stood to leave. I guess it truly was unlike me to not complain and whine about something, but times were changing and I had to grow up sometime. I guess it seemed a little too fast for my Jiya though. In fact the inner me was screaming to refuse the request he made, but I was not a selfish person. I wish I could be, just once and my only selfish need would be to have Aoshi-sama as mine for even a moment. A searing kiss, a soft caress or a loving hug…anything just as long as it was with him. How wonderful that would be and yet I knew it would never happen. Aoshi-sama was like ice and I…I guess I was too afraid of being fully rejected by him. I loved him and yet he scared me to death. I had fallen in love with a man that was so untouchable and yet he had completely touched and stolen my heart.

"Misao-chan, what will you say to Aoshi?" I paused at the door, turning my eyes towards the elder of the Oniwabanshuu and felt my smile dwindle slightly.

"I don't know, the truth I suppose." I answered before exiting the study and heading for the kitchen once more. I'd been given the job to buy some spices for the kitchen and of course I had my usual daily interaction with Aoshi-sama…not that you could call it interaction or anything. I brought him tea, he drank and meditated and that was the end of it. I chatted a mile a minute never once expecting replies and so it wasn't even interaction to begin with. One sided…everything was always one sided when it came to me.

"I'll be going now!" I called as I placed on my getas and headed out of the Aoiya main entrance. Yes, by the gods I'd thrown myself into a kimono. Time was definitely changing for sure. It felt strange, but I'm sure I could get used to them. I still wore my ninja outfit when I trained, but mainly these days I was dressed in a kimono and was pottering around in the restaurant. I knew that a lot of young mans' eyes were fixated on me, but I couldn't stare at them back with the same appreciation for beauty. I finally realised that my appreciation of beauty was in fact on the stone cold statue known as Aoshi Shinomori. I'd constantly shake my head in the confines of my own room and curse myself for falling for this man, but as I stared longer and longer at Aoshi-sama, he became more human by the second. Gripped with grief and guilt were two main pointers to indicate Aoshi-sama was human after all. He was such a troubled man…and a very handsome one at that.

"Ah…must stop thinking about that." I muttered aloud as I walked silently up the stairs towards the temple. For a moment I paused in my journey and glanced at the balcony I knew Aoshi-sama would be on and then glanced back at the fading Aoiya. If I broke tradition of serving him tea would he even notice? I shock my head of that thought and continued onwards. I knew I wouldn't be able to break it and in fact I enjoyed just being beside him with no one else around.

"Ohayoo Aoshi-sama!" I heard myself greet the silent man cheerily. I blinked as I found him inside the room and the shutters of the balcony closed. The room was fairly dark, but incense and candles surrounded Aoshi-sama making his bare skin and the soles of his feet glow a pale yellow colour. If he was ice, did that mean his skin would be as cold as ice as well. No! Mustn't think about such thoughts right now. I closed the shoji and padded the rest of the way in and placed the tea set and myself in front of Aoshi-sama but still allowed him his own personal space. He did not respond to my greeting and I never expect him too.

"It's a beautiful day today Aoshi-sama." I prattled quietly while he continued to meditate and then began the steps of making his favourite green tea. Usually I'd be chatting a mile a minute while doing so, but today was different of course. My thoughts were mainly drawn to Jiya's decision to have me wed. Sometime soon I knew a party would be held at the Aoiya and many suitors will come a knocking…and then it was my decision along with Jiya to decide who would be the most capable of taking over the Oniwabanshuu. My heart sank at the thought of giving the Oniwabanshuu to another. The only one worthy in my books at being Okashira is…

"You are troubled." I gasped and darted my eyes towards the now opened green ones of Aoshi-sama. The candle flames danced in his eyes and the light glistened in his perfect black hair. I gave my best winning smile and then placed his tea on the floorboards for him.

"I guess so…" I felt myself mutter. Dammit! I was suppose to deny his words and come up with a lie, but as I stared up into cool calm eyes I knew I could never lie to him. He always saw through me, so why wouldn't he now?

"Is Okina ill?" I was surprised he was continuing on with the conversation as he rarely spoke and I felt myself shake my head negatively as I glanced down at my clutched hands on my lap.

"Has something happened at the Aoiya?" Boy, he was quite the nosy man today and just that thought made me crack a small smile. Perhaps he wasn't as cold hearted as everyone and including me at times thought.

"I guess you could say that." I watched as he blinked his eyes, his head titling to the side slightly as though he was trying to read my thoughts. He looked so cute doing this and I took a deep breath as I watched him draw his teacup to his lips.

"Jiya wants me to get married." There was a slight pause in his actions before he took a sip of the tea and then placed it back to its rightful place on the floorboards in front of him.

"And your thoughts on the matter?"

"He is right, I should get married. I'd be dishonouring my grandfather and the Oniwabanshuu name if I objected to the idea." I paused for a moment to take a sip of the tea and gather my thoughts. How easy it seemed to tell Aoshi-sama I would be married soon and yet my heart ached wanting to say 'I wish to marry you' but as always I diverted from that particular line and continued on.

"Jiya said I must pass the Okashira title to my future husband as a woman in power is not a good idea for future business and the general fact is that I must continue the bloodline of future Okashira's and followers of the Oniwabanshuu." I could feel myself flushing at mentioning this to Aoshi-sama and ducked my head and hoped my thick bangs covered most of my blushing cheeks. Speaking like this to Aoshi-sama just made several non-innocent thoughts rush through my mind about he and I.

"I see…" Came the slow response from Aoshi-sama. "Well, I'm sure Okina can help with judging who'd make a good husband for you Misao." Judging who'd be my husband? What was this, a bloody contest? Did this stupid, brooding, sexy man not realise that all I wanted was him?!

"What?" Oh crap! I didn't just say that aloud did I? Glancing shyly and probably mortifyingly up at Aoshi-sama I notice his unemotional response betrayed the look on his face. His eyes had widened in surprise and that was confirmation I had let slip more then I should have. Damn all these thoughts rushing in my mind!

"Erm…um…its nothing!" I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks to another level betraying me once more. Oh curse this body always responding to Aoshi-sama!

"Misao…did you just…" It was almost laughable that Aoshi-sama had grown unsure of what to say to my little confession. Not that I actually wanted a response of rejection from him anyway and thus it was time to make a hasty retreat and die of sheer mortification back in the confines of my own room. There was no way I could face him after this major slip up.

"Well Omasu wanted me to get some spices for the Aoiya so I guess I should be off now." I murmured as I quickly stood to my feet, almost tripping on the end of the kimono as I did so. The one time I wished to be wearing my onmitsu outfit was right now so I could flee the temple in a mad dash, but of course with a tight fitting kimono that was merely impossible. My clumsy hands were trying to pick up the tea tray, but a gasp escaped my lips as larger hands stopped mine from moving around.

"Please stop Misao." Aoshi-sama had never initiated any form of contact! What the hell was I to do now? "Please sit back down." How could I refuse a man with a husky voice like that? How could I refuse Aoshi-sama anything? I felt my shins connect with the floorboards once more and I pried my hands lightly away from Aoshi-sama's. Of course I was kicking myself for doing so, but I was becoming increasingly nervous around him.

"Is that what you want Misao? To be with the one you want, even if he is the one you cannot have, before having to marry another?" If I didn't know any better that just felt like Aoshi-sama was accepting my wanting him and yet rejecting me at the same time. I voiced nothing and instead continued to stare into his eyes.

"You want the caress of the one you love before having to be made to love another? Is that what you are saying?"

"Yes…" I observed as Aoshi-sama became blurry and knew my eyes were watering. Now was not the time to blubber like a small child but his words were cutting deep and were completely true as well. I wanted him so badly that I'd become an impure woman just so I could spend one sinful night with him. My love and lust for Aoshi-sama was that strong and I felt myself hiccup as I tried to keep the tears at bay. Fat chance of that happening when I felt an unsure caress against my cheek. In mere seconds I'd literally thrown myself at Aoshi-sama and wrapped my arms around his waist as I cried quietly into his chest. It was utterly blissful when strong powerful arms wrapped around my shaking body and yet heartbreaking that he was only doing this to make me feel better.

"Do not cry Misao. Crying does not suit someone such as yourself." I heard him whisper into my ear as his hands fluttered to the obi on my kimono. An image of my smiling self when I was around 4 or 5 flashed through my mind and what surrounded me was Aoshi-sama, Hannya, Beshimi, Hyotokko and Shikijou and that's when I pulled away from those powerful arms that could break me in a single second.

"I can't…" I felt myself choke out as I drew away from him and brushed my hands over my face to rid myself of tears.

"I thought that was what you wanted." He spoke quietly and I felt a bitter chuckle, one I've never heard before, escape my lips.

"Of course I want you Aoshi-sama, but you should know me, all heart over sheer selfishness and I know this is not what you wish to happen. I want the man I love to love me too and I know you believe you are not capable of this."

"Misao…" I shook my head. I didn't wish to hear what he wanted to say.

"I'll only be with the man I love if he also wishes to be with me. I would never force anyone to be with me Aoshi-sama and therefore I cannot perform this passionate action with you when you have no passion for me. I won't allow it to happen as you only complied to do so because I asked of it. I will not be selfish in this matter and therefore will return to the Aoiya."

"You have changed Misao."

"We all change over time, I just changed faster then everyone thought I would change. This time I'm not thinking of what I want…and therefore must think on what the Oniwabanshuu needs. They need a strong leader…and the bloodline to continue and I will grant Jiya and my grandfather just that." A lone tear strayed down my cheek as a simple thought crossed my mind. I wanted Aoshi-sama to be my first in something…

"Aoshi-sama, I have one selfish favour to ask of you." I watched his right eyebrow rise at this.

"I will not dishonour myself and become impure for my future husband, but I wish to ask if it was alright with you if I could perhaps…kiss you goodbye?" I knew this would surprise him and I felt myself flush at the openness of my question. At the long pause of silence I guess this meant 'no' and I began to rise to my feet.

"I'm sorry for being selfish Aoshi-sama, I should leave."

"Alright…"

"Eh?"

"I said…alright…" I felt more tears pool in my eyes but I bent to his sitting height and drew my lips to his. It was so much more then what I had imagined it to be. Aoshi-sama's skin was so warm, contradicting his icy aura. I never wished to part from this moment and it became even more painful to do so when I felt warm dry lips part slightly against mine. At that I quickly pulled away, my eyes drawing open just like his did behind his long bangs.

I loved him so much that I was breaking my loving ties for him away. I'd loved him for forever and I was breaking my promise to wait for him. I wanted so badly to have him, but Aoshi-sama was to remain, as it seemed, untouchable to love. I was setting Aoshi-sama free while confining myself to a future husband that did not even have a face or a name yet.

"Sayonara…" I whispered to his sitting form before placing a final kiss against his forehead much like he had done to me when I was but a small child. I left in an instant, not once looking back and returned to the main entrance of the temple and stepped out into the bright sunlight and moved slowly down the stairs.

I was heading into an uncertain future, but I felt my lips curve even if tears flowed down my cheeks. I'd finally freed Aoshi-sama from a burden he didn't know how to deal with…and that…was me.

My love for Aoshi-sama would never die, this I knew, but my heart felt a little ease knowing I had kept Hannya-kun's promise. Aoshi-sama was in need of someone to free him and I had done just that while freeing myself.

I headed back to the Aoiya with a clear mind, but a still battered heart. In time it would heal again, I just hoped I would find someone that touched my heart as much as Aoshi-sama had. I guess I wouldn't know until I moved one with my life…and that was what I was prepared to do for the love of the Oniwabanshuu.

# # # # #

The End

# # # # #


	2. Optional Ending

****

The Pain of Loving a Clan

Four months had passed by and in the beginning Aoshi-sama and I had done nothing but greet each other with small glances and quiet nods of the head. I constantly watched him, stole glances of him even if my would-be suitors where sitting by my side. I often wondered what Aoshi-sama was thinking as he caught my gaze and then the stares of young men that Okina picked out for me to choose from. It was horrible though, trying to choose one man over the other. They all had good intentions, but still I didn't wish to hurt any of them…and none had made me smile until I met…Takuya-san. It had only been days, but with his carefree and yet sometimes serious attitude, I started to laugh, to smile and to bring myself out again. It was because of him I could look up at Aoshi-sama and finally greet him again with an 'Ohayoo gozaimasu' and so on. I hadn't done that in so long that even he looked surprised…and then he quietly responded.

Days moved on and I was surprised that I was preparing tea once more for Aoshi-sama, but not only for him, for Takuya-san as well. I had interrupted them in the dining hall, but was asked to stay by Takuya-san and felt torn between running away and sitting down. That is when I found out that Takuya-san asked Aoshi-sama if he could meditate at the temple with him. There was a long pause, even Takuya-san was growing weary of Aoshi-sama's quietness, but Aoshi-sama finally lifted his head and placed on his lips was a small smile as he had replied,

__

I'd be honoured.

Where had my usual Aoshi-sama gone? And why was he being so nice to the man I was meant to marry? I remained seated and dazed as Aoshi-sama took his leave from the both of us before Takuya-san's smiling face took up my vision.

__

Gomen ne Misao-san, but I believe this is something that I must do, to honour the ex-Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu. It is my duty to share with your ex-leader, like I have with Nenji-san, all of my clan's history…and my family one as well. I will then hope that he would accept my being your future husband.

I remember blushing at his words. He wanted Aoshi-sama's approval as well and not just Okina's. It meant Takuya-san wanted to be an outstanding choice for me by the man that used to be our leader, by the man I constantly thought about. So that's what I had been doing, preparing tea and fretting over what the outcome would be.

It wasn't long before I had to begin to control my nerves as I walked quietly to the area where Aoshi-sama would meditate at the temple. I stopped at the closed shoji and was ready to announce myself when I could hear the muffled voice of Takuya-san…and for the life of me I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

__

I apologise for cutting into your meditation Shinomori-sama, but I would imagine this place is the one you feel most comfortable in right?

Why do you insist on calling me 'sama'? I am no longer the Okashira.

This is true, but a very pretty young woman will always be your subordinate no matter how long the years have gone by. I wish to honour her by referring to the one she looks up to the most as 'Lord'.

__

Have you come to speak to me about Misao?

You refer to her so casually. Is your relationship that defined?

What my and Misao's relationship is, is none of your concern. What have you come here for Takuya-san?

I merely wish to have your approval.

Why? Shouldn't you only be looking into the eyes of Misao for that?

What do you mean?

No matter who accepts you or not, the only acceptance that matters is the one from Misao. She is not a child and therefore will choose her husband on her own even if Okina tries to persuade her to choose you.

What if the one she wants is not even in the line-up of husbands to choose from?

What are you implying?

By then I could take no more and knocked on the door. The conversation would have to remain unfinished and so I let myself in and poured them tea as I spoke with a fake smile on my face to the both of them about small things like the markets or the weather. There was tension in the air, but I thought it best to remain "oblivious" to it all.

And then, as the tea dissolved, the day grew long and it was time to finally leave Aoshi-sama to his meditation, but my plans to escape had been foiled by Takuya-san himself.

__

Misao-san, I'll take these back to the Aoiya for you while you and Shinomori-sama discuss some matters.

I watched him leave then and the butterflies in my stomach began to flutter as I stared at the floorboards while I felt the icy gaze of Aoshi-sama look upon my bowed head.

__

You have chosen well Misao.

Eh?

Takuya-san is a good man…and…though you voice nothing, he does feel correct to lead the Oniwabanshuu correct?

Aoshi-sama…

You have my blessing Misao.

At that all I could remember was crying and while I wept Aoshi-sama never embraced me like he would when I was young. Instead he just allowed me to weep in front of him for many long minutes. It was a cry that I needed and once it was over I hadn't thanked him or anything and just remembered yelling one childish remark before fleeing.

__

BAKA!

I guess in some ways, even if years had gone by I wanted to still be selfish and have him for myself. I felt guilt ridden when I gazed upon Takuya-san's face as I approached the Aoiya. He saw my red eyes, questioned if I was all right, but I could not face him and rushed to my private quarters. I remained there for the rest of the evening…and was awoken the next day by a smiling Omasu and Okon.

Today was the day I'd be wed to Takuya-san.

So I decided to cheer up and here I was sitting down on a stool with Omasu and Okon fusing over me as they placed me into a wedding kimono.

I may have looked cheerful on the outside, but my insides were screaming for me to run away, to run back to Aoshi-sama, to beg him to listen, to understand, to hear my heart cry out to him…and yet here I remain seated in front of a mirror. I fisted my hands in my lap as I closed my eyes while Omasu powdered my face. Aoshi-sama, it is time for me to let you go…for good. I could never allow myself to continuously think of you while with Takuya-san. He is a good man and therefore deserves all the love I can give him.

"Mou, Okon, where is the lipstick?" Omasu spoke with a slightly panicked voice.

"Its right here, but where is Misao's hair clips?" These two would slowly drive me insane as they moved around the room in great speed and sheer panic.

"Will you two relax, I'm not going anywhere…and the wedding isn't happening for another three hours yet." I was surprised at my voice not betraying the hurt that was fluttering around my entire being. I watched them slow down as they knelt beside me to look into the mirror and comment on how beautiful I was. I smiled for them, but could they not see how unhappy I was? Was I hiding it too well from them?

A knock at the shoji and my eyes darted hopefully to it, but it slid across to reveal my Jiya in fancy dress, black haori and hakama to be exact. He looked really good…and he had even gotten rid of his pink bow too.

"Omasu, Okon, please go see the guests. I wish to speak with Misao-chan alone."

"Mou, Okina, how many times must I tell you that Misao is a grown woman and shouldn't be referred to as Misao-chan anymore."

"Ah, hai, hai…" He muttered as we both watched them leave, all dolled up in the most expensive kimonos'. It wasn't long before Jiya's wrinkled face turn to gaze at me.

"Ah, my pretty Misao is all grown up!" I felt my face cringe slightly as he began to blubber and mumbled repeatedly.

"Jiya…I…" I couldn't finish as the elderly man grew serious and it shocked me as he placed his hand on my shoulder, made me face him before he turned determined eyes to my weary ones.

"Misao, I truly want you to fulfill your grandfather's desire of looking after the welfare of the Oniwabanshuu and continuing on with the bloodline as well. Misao, your grandfather wants you happy, I want you happy, but…"

"But?" Oh no, could he read me that well? Could he see that although Takuya-san made me smile and laugh I was still crushed that Aoshi-sama wasn't meant to be mine?

"Takuya-san is not going to be marrying you. He has called off the wedding and has apologised to the guests and left." My eyes widened at this information.

"Wh-What…?"

"Misao dear, it's been several months and Takaya-san has relayed to me that you are not happy with him like he had hoped." Oh no! I didn't mean to hurt him! Its just that I…

"I know you didn't mean to hurt him…and he doesn't hate you either. In fact, he is more then happy to free you from this trap. Although his clan would have been welcome to merge with ours, he felt it right that he could never take your heart from the one that had already taken it." My eyes widened even more and I watched Jiya sigh. He already knew exactly whom Takuya-san was talking about.

"Are you…disappointed in me Jiya?" I quietly spoke, my head bowed as I didn't wish to look at my white powdered face in the mirror. I was a failure to him and my real ojiisan.

"Iie…" Glancing up I watched his reflection in the mirror. "In fact, I'm sorry I made you go through this. I should have known that my dear Misao-chan's heart could never be swayed from the troubled soul she loves. You are very much…like your mother."

"Honto desu ka?" I felt tears pool in my eyes when Jiya bent down to hug me lightly.

"She was refused many times by your father and even the acceptance of your grandfather too, but she persisted, became everything that she needed to be to become a good wife for the future Okashira. Your mother carried her heart on her sleeve; much like you do Misao…and in fact even if she had suitors she would never stray far from your father's side. I guess that is why after seeing her from afar, of all the things she went through for him, he loved her more and more each passing day. In the end, they died protecting each other…and I know you'd do the very same for your chosen one."

"Jiya…gomen…" I choked out and before I knew it I was crying heavily into his arms. Oh Aoshi-sama, I love you so much! Can you not see what I have become in front of your eyes?

I felt reassuring hands against my back as my Jiya mumbled soothing words to me. It just reminded me of all the times Aoshi-sama used to when I'd scrap or bump myself. He was so soft, so warm and so caring back then. I knew that the Aoshi-sama I remembered was inside this one, he was just so afraid of letting go and even if he couldn't be that Aoshi-sama I remember I still love him as this Aoshi-sama. Perhaps he needed to hear that from me? But wouldn't that be more pressure on him to run further from my side? I couldn't bare that to happen.

"Should I…apologise to the guests?" I mumbled against Jiya's damn clothing.

"Iie, I've assigned Omasu and Okon to do just that."

"They knew all along?" I murmured once more and felt Jiya lightly laugh.

"Of course, you're our Misao-chan, we know everything." At that I smacked him out of sheer habit.

"I was so worried about disappointing you!" I snapped while rubbing fiercely at my face to wipe it of all this make-up.

"Misao-chan, your Jiya will never be disappointed in what you do, just don't take too long in bearing kids. I want to see at least one Shinomori running around before I go." I flushed a bright red at his words.

"J-J-Jiya! Mou! Stop embarrassing me like this!" I slapped his arm as he pulled away from me. "Be-Besides, Aoshi-sama is not…"

"Hai, hai Misao-chan, your Aoshi-sama just needs some persuading…and perhaps a little bit more time…like a few weeks perhaps?" I watched the cackling old man leave my sleeping quarters with a wave of his wrinkled hand. I couldn't help but smile even if I knew that comment was only meant to cheer me up as I knew it wasn't true.

Arigatou, Jiya.

I felt a breeze caress my face and knew I was in need of a nice walk. I stepped out into the hallway and the Aoiya seemed eerily quiet for this time of day, but of course all the guests would be departing and no one would come to see me because of the news that Takuya-san had left and wouldn't marry me.

Heading downstairs I moved out into Okina's garden and took a small stroll. The breeze felt good against my flushed face, as I had scrubbed a little too hard to rid myself of white powder, red lipstick and black eyeliner. Eyeing a stone bench I slowly moved towards it and sat down while looking over at the setting sun.

"Where are all the guests?" I felt every muscle in my body clench in tightness at that baritone voice. Slowly, ever so slowly I twisted by body and Aoshi-sama stood before me dressed in a black western suit. Oh he looked so handsome like that.

"Did I miss the wedding? Okina told me it was at sunset in the garden." Eh? Miss the wedding? Aoshi-sama seemed to be the last to know. What was I to say now?

"Ano…the wedding…was cancelled." Silence…a thick silence engulfed us before I felt his shoes crunch against the pebbles as he headed my way. I scrunched my eyes shut and knew he was standing right beside me. Gomen ne Aoshi-sama, I couldn't marry another. I couldn't marry another without loving them whole-heartedly and so I failed everyone, as I couldn't let go of my love for you.

"Makimachi-sama…" I lifted my eyes to see Aoshi-sama standing prominently by my left side with his hands thrust into the trousers of his outfit. "…would only want the best for you Misao. If you are not happy then you should have told Okina in the first place." I fisted my hands in my lap. I couldn't believe at a time like this Aoshi-sama was scolding me. He knew nothing of my pain over the years and he was scolding me!

"I…I…" I had so many thoughts roaming around that none could be spoken.

"If you have something to say then just say it Misao." Oh right that's it! In an instant I was off the stone bench, jerking Aoshi-sama to my direction and yelling like a spoiled brat with tears falling down my cheeks.

"I'm not someone that can just randomly toss the one I've loved since I was little away in my heart and forget about him. I know everyone knows whom I love, you even know Aoshi-sama and yet you do nothing but remain calm and collected about it. How can you sit there and watch me fall apart without even saying anything? I always thought that the Aoshi-sama from years ago would come back, would be the caring one I knew, but even if he can't, even if he doesn't merge it won't stop me from loving you!" I gasped when Aoshi-sama took a step closer and I was soon engulfed in his embrace. I was weeping like a baby into his chest as my arms wrapped around him to clutch at his dinner jacket.

"It hurts Aoshi-sama, my entire being is tired of feeling like this. I want everyone to be proud of me and yet all I do is fail. I failed at trying to lead them…and now I failed at getting a husband too! I just want…something good to go right for once."

"Do you remember Misao…" I pulled slightly away from Aoshi-sama then, even if I felt my heart flutter when his grip did not loosen around me, as I tilted my head to look up at him. He was staring off in the distance, trying to finish what he wanted to say. "You asked me what a wife was."

"Eh?" I froze in his arms when his green eyes moved back to my face. With the sun setting, the birds calling it a night as they chirped for the lat time, I was right where I wanted to be. In Aoshi-sama's arms and completely mesmerised by him.

"I said they were to protect their husband from all the wrongs they did in their lives. They were to be just like a sword's saya. After that you had said you'd do that for me. I never knew as time went on, even with so much blood on my hands, you still want to be a saya for me." You truly have no idea I'd go to the far reaches of the earth to be and do whatever you wish of me Aoshi-sama. I'll love you for all of time no matter if I disappoint my grandfather.

"Aoshi-sama?"

"Mm?"

"A…Aishiteru…" I waited with baited breath, heart thumping in my ears and when nothing came I felt my heart plummet to my stomach. I wanted to flee at this very moment, but my eyes grew wide as it was either the glare of the sun or there was moisture in my Aoshi-sama's eyes!

"That…is the first time…I have ever heard those words spoken to me." Aoshi-sama, you truly are the soul I'm meant to take care of. Ojiisan, this is the man that is meant to be with me. This man before me, Shinomori Aoshi is what I truly need most of all. I will do right by you…I will hand the Oniwabanshuu over to the one I see fit and that is…

"Okaeri nasai." I watch as his eyes widen when I pull from his arms and then proceed to bow before him, like a loyal subordinate does to their…

"Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu, Aoshi Shinomori." The one I love…the one who is our leader was the only man for me and the only man meant for this role. My ojiisan already knew this long ago, but it was my turn to finally realise it as well.

"Misao…you…" And he was stuck for words, he almost looked choked up at this display of love and loyalty to him. So kawaii…my Aoshi-sama was.

My eyes lifted from the ground as I felt a gloved hand lift my chin. The wind picked up and blew Aoshi-sama's jet-black bangs about the place. I watched his eyes draw intensely to mine…and something twitched against his lips. Could it be…?

"Tadaima, Misao." Aoshi-sama…Aoshi-sama accepted! I rose to my feet and thrust myself into his already open arms. How times had changed and yet I was still blubbering, but I guess as Aoshi-sama stroked my back comfortingly, he truly didn't mind.

"Ah, Misao-chan, don't forget to tell Aoshi-sama my request!" ACK! I completely thrust myself away from Aoshi-sama in complete embarrassment at being captured…or did Jiya spy on us? I felt my face redden as he did nothing but wave at us before being pulled inside by Omasu, Okon, Shiro and Kuro! Hazukashi! They were all watching us? When the shoji closed, much to the complaining Jiya I sighed lightly and then felt Aoshi-sama move closer as he placed his arm around my shoulders.

"What was Okina's request?" Blushing furiously as not so innocent thoughts fluttered my mind I began to mumble.

"Eeto, Jiya wants…um…he wants…to see…err…you know…like…um…a little…err…Shinomori…running around…" All was silent before I felt myself being pulled to the stone bench as Aoshi-sama sat down and I right by his side. My blush didn't go away as the fact that my hand was still very much clutched in Aoshi-sama's and his other was still over my petite form, hugging me to his side.

"Is that so?" Is that so? Was that all he could say at such an embarrassing moment like this? The nerve of him just remaining cool, calm and collected and so damn handsome too! It wasn't long before my ranting left me when pure green eyes locked with my ocean blue ones as Aoshi-sama tilted my head up and then kept his hand at my cheek.

"We'll see what we can do." Eyes widening as I stared up at Aoshi-sama I couldn't help but slap my own cheek to make sure this was real. I also noted that a confused Aoshi-sama look was extremely unlike him and I'd store it away in my mind for keepsake. He truly was cute and handsome all in one. I was too nervous to answer if that meant we'd be married one day and instead ecstatically hugged him.

In the end I guess sacrificing myself for the clan did nothing but drive the one I wanted back to me. I know I was loved dearly by all the members who were my family and so I know they'll accept Aoshi-sama back for he is the true leader. He was needed…and especially needed by me. One day too Jiya will get his "little Shinomori's" roaming around. With that thought in mind I couldn't help but laugh as a flush grew over my cheeks and the warmness grew in my heart as Aoshi-sama continued to hug me.

Aishiteru, Aoshi-sama! Itsumo!

****

The Optional End

(But Shin's Real Happy Ending)


End file.
